


This Warmth of Mine

by espiritus



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Exactly What's On The Tin, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, What the Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 18:25:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espiritus/pseuds/espiritus
Summary: A tender moment between Von and Mac early in their relationship; standalone short, canon with previous storyline.





	This Warmth of Mine

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Baby, It's Just You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599295) by [espiritus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/espiritus/pseuds/espiritus). 



> _like any uncharted territory,_   
>  _i must seem greatly intriguing._   
>  _you speak of my love like_   
>  _you have experienced love like mine._
> 
> -alanis morissette, _uninvited_

This particular night found Von and Mac at the former Dartmouth Professional Building, covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies. They'd been looking for a rest stop when they spotted the Children of Atom attacking a group of traders, and so they'd gone in, guns blazing and primed for the kill. 

Though she hadn't shown it, Von's head wasn't in the game. Instead, she was still warm and snug in that yellow sleeping bag, leaning against Mac's chest as his arms encircled her waist. It had only been a few hours, and she already missed being close to him, though part of her still felt guilty, as though she'd somehow betrayed Nate's memory. But Nate was gone, and she couldn't mourn him forever... even though her heart ached as though her ribcage was mere seconds from caving in.

"Hey, Boss? Not to freak you out or anything, but you're bleeding pretty bad. I'll fix you up."

Von nodded and rummaged through her med kit for a stimpak. Instead, however, her fingers closed around something square- a holotape; _the_ holotape that Codsworth had given her before she'd left Sanctuary, the one Nate had been saving for her as a surprise before all of this. She'd been meaning to listen to it, but kept putting it off because she was afraid that hearing his voice again would crush her like an ant. But here it was, staring her in the face; no way this was a coincidence.

"H...Hold on a moment," she whispered shakily, swallowed over the sob that bubbled in her throat as she tried to catch her breath. "I just... I'll be right back, okay?"

She didn't even wait for his reaction before opening the door and barricading herself in the tiny little room that remained. It was no bigger than a closet, and there were empty liquor bottles and dead radroaches everywhere, but she didn't care; her back to the wall, she slid to the ground and pulled out the holotape before shoving it into her Pip-Boy.

"Oopsie," she heard Nate say, as his voice crackled to life. "No, no, no. Little fingers away. There we go. Just say it. Right there. Right there. Go ahead."

It was strange to hear him speak, after all this time. She still remembered every detail of him- the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, his arms around her shoulders... He'd been in the delivery room with her when Shaun was born, and the tenderness in his grey eyes as he beheld this new life they'd created was... otherworldly, as though he'd laid eyes on heaven itself. 

"Hi honey," the recording continued, and Von gulped back a sob as she tried to patch up the cut on her face. "Listen... I don't think Shaun and I need to tell you how great of a mother you are... but we're going to anyway. You are kind, loving, and funny... And patient. So patient- patience of a saint, as your mother used to say."

There was a crackling sound, and Nate chuckled as Shaun's sweet baby laugh interrupted his speech. "Look," he went on. "With Shaun, and us all being home together it's been an amazing year. But I know our best days are yet to come. There will be changes sure, things we'll need to adjust to: I'll rejoin the civilian workforce, you'll shake the dust off your programming degree... But everything we do, no matter how hard, we do it for our family. Now say goodbye, Shaun- bye bye, say bye bye."

It sounded so close and real that Von found herself suddenly filled with longing for the life she'd so carefully planned. But, when she remembered that all of it had been stolen from her in a matter of minutes, her construction dissolved into ugliness and the rage was so intense that her entire body shuddered with it. Anger pricked her tongue, the roof of her mouth, and all she wanted was to scream. But, instead, she focused on Shaun's sweet baby babble and willed herself not to cry. But then, Nate's voice spoke again.

"Bye honey. We love you."

The tears came easily after that, and Von curled up into a ball, wishing with all of her heart that this whole thing was a dream- a horrible nightmare that she'd wake up from, in her own bed, come the morning. None of it felt real, and yet she knew that it was over: her life stripped bare of everything that had given it meaning. Yes, this was her new reality.

Against her better judgment, she set the holotape to repeat and sobbed into a nearby pillow. Though her original intent had been to muffle the sound, she also imagined that the soft fabric was Nate, and that holding it long enough would somehow make this okay. But it wouldn't be- she would never be okay again, not ever.


End file.
